Too few posts lately but partly because I have been realizing that most of my thoughts in the last few days are criticism of general lives around me. I even started to stereotype. After-all there is some truth to stereotypes. And if you use your imagination then you can really adopt a stereotype. I find them useful so find the right atmosphere sometimes. But then again I jump from one stereotype to another and each world in between. Sometimes the camera comes along and I have proof of it. Most days its all in the words and jokes and another day worked.

Few days ago in my previous post I was hopeful and open minded. But coming back to earth I realize few elements were really understood by the other party. I say this because some things are worth believing in and require more then a quick observation. Hardest part is believing in making a change in yourself. It happens but it takes too damn long since I am a quite determined person once I know I will try out for something.

The other day I got comment on a first impression of me from a model I work with. I found it strange but I did not explain to her why I might of came off that way. The comment however made me think about first impressions I could make and I am realizing that I care much less then when I was younger. It simply is not that important to me in the end. At first of course I get caught up in the dance and trip miserably while I probably embarrass myself. But so what... isn't that part of the fun to finding yourself again. The great thing is that I am self reliant in that finding process . I no longer seek others to give me a pat on the back that it be all good. It won't and I might as well face it myself. Its like playing chess without knowing your opponent's skill level... or something like that. You never will fully know everything about yourself until you believe in things that come in your life. If necessary you burn out to get them. The worst scenario is that you'll just have to try again.

I am lost in incomplete thoughts this evening. I see images and remember words that come together. I want to go back and make things more perfect, the light more even and more dramatic, but is it not that the imperfection itself what makes me go forward? Oh, I just hope whatever I am attempting did not get completely
wrong by my impatience. Judgment of others means little to me on any other day but then, there are those days like today when 20 minutes make me hope I had things more together. So time will tell.

I am finding out at 29 how many little worlds I actually live in on daily basis. I know they're getting smaller as I get older. At least its less exhausting to jump form one another since there are less of them. I' tired. Life gets more stable as I get older.

I met someone the other day who understood some observations I have made. But I do not know how to tell them I understand theirs. I do. And I know how to change that reality. I do not know how to tell them that either. But conversation with this person give me understanding of my own. I am waiting to read some of the writing.

I like artists. I have learned what that that definition means. I like the fact I can recognize the characteristics of one.

The photograph is from California. The simplistic composition in an complex environment where I find myself lately.

Photography, at least mine, is directly connected to life unless it is purely commercial. But even then the argument can be that photographer's creativity comes from personal motivation. My photography is about observation with the goal of sincerity toward either the subject or the thought behind the photograph.

A couple of evenings ago I was luckily reminded of the link between life and the art. Nowadays I go though dry spells a lot less then I did in the past but the truth is they will always occur. Change is good and at least for me the change from the ordinary while revisiting the familiar has given me the chance to build on what I learn. I wonder though what would happen, and more specifically, what will happen once I leave the sort of calm of my rhythm where I was able to build on all these experiences up to now. Time will tell.

The link I mentioned above became evident from a series of conversations that given me the optimism to keep taking chances. I guess the older you become the wiser decisions one hopes to make. But how does the emotional link change in its reaction? So art work created or any other life experience is spurred by instinct with fate as its creator and faith that its possible.

Late night again but I managed to keep my word to myself and did whole bunch of things I wanted to this evening. On top of it all I all I managed to scan the roll of 10 (full roll) from my Sunday morning shoot at 7am. I am very pleased with the results. One roll by choice.

This is Georgie. I like the structure in this photograph.

Out of 3500 entries I have made it to the semifinals that includes 100 best photographs in the dayjob Photogrphy Contest. I am proud of that this evening.