OK, it looks like last time I posted was at the end of October. I have color film I still need to develop but all my trips to the NYC have been anywhere but 20th St. area. Since the films vary there will be a sense of surprise on what is on them. I like that feeling but more so with time as evidence where I been and what I chose to focus on in a given moment in time.
The PC got fixed after I got fed up with the web browser and uninstalled whole bunch of crap. The Mac has truly showed me a new way. The mere consistency and the ease of workflow make the PC a true separation from leisure and work. I even think that sometime in the further future I'd get one of those cool 24' Macs that the whole thing is built into the monitor. So cool!

In the midis of winter I'm looking to get back on two wheels again. This time I am thinking locally with a little kick to go further. I paid a visit to the local dealer which 2 years ago upgraded its facility and took on Ducati and Vespa for products carried. Oh how cool! The prettiest (in Men terms) bikes and the cool (pretty in Women terms) Scooters. All stereotyping of definitions of aside, the Vespa GTS in Black has stuck with me so strong that given the financial promotion going on it has became a research vehicle. The styling is amazing and the general opinion is nothing but thumbs up.

So what does any of this have to do with photography? I guess the explanation that this blog has not died not became abandoned by me. Simply a transition for me into some significant changes. Once the Vespa issue is set I'd like to get more landscapes here but it would have to be somewhere in March since its the earliest here when the weather gets more stable.

I've been reading a lot. I have few books on a stack to be read. Combined with my weekly Economist magazine (which I came to appreciate tremendously) I have more writing to do here on the subject of photography.

And I will start posting more about wine here because after drinking it for over 4 years seriously I want to pass some of that experience to anyone it might help.

No photograph tonight as I needed to write. Next post I'll include one.

The great news is that the old Arca Swiss 4x5 has found a new life in my hands. The bad news is that the experiments from last night, some 10+ minute exposures on HP5 filled by Full Moon came out nothing more then mediocre. BUT! if I was to go tonight and do it I would improve on the things I did not like from last night. Locations would be better screened along with bringing few things which would make my life easier in the dark of the night. but that's all night photography.

I am now going to use this for some portraits. Natural light with the 90mm lens. Hopefully some environmental ones. Others will be some reflections on American towns. I can only shoot on the weekend now due to days getting shorter. Soon I'll be leaving for work in the morning and walking out of y building in the dark of night. So the weekends are what's left. Plus, some work with the Pentax 6x7 to do as well.

Tonight a photograph from last night. Stand developed overnight in Rodinal at 1:200. Same town and both after 10pm. Next time I'll choose the location more carefully to be more in the dark. The street light and local traffic over expososed some elements of both photographs

If it was not for NYC I don't know what I would do around here. NJ is not a place of any recognition in my book. Its a vast land of everything necessary and just enough to pass. There are rich towns and poor towns, but the mentality is just the same. Baseball and BBQs. And I could not be more far that any of that crap.
Tonight ta photograph from a walk in NYC Meat Packing district. A wedding shoot taking place while a dog (the ring bearer) waited for his turn to pose. And shortly after the first photograph he did. I'm planning to photograph this same region with the 4x5 camera in the next few weeks.

A great news for Poland today. Despite a 6 hour lag I have been following the elections to the minute. I could not be more happy. Donald Tusk has won. He is among my favorite politicians. Not only Polish but my personal tracking of world politics. In this group is Tony Blair and the american Colin Powell. Powel had disappeared from American political scene because what he believed in was pure and human good but the candidacy which originally supported him failed to support his vision.
i have watched Donald Tusk in the two televised elections in the last week. I read about his campaign for some time now. His voice is mine. I am Proud that the Polish government now has a prime minister I am absolutely sure of and incredibly proud of. Donald Tusk is my answer to transforming Poland where I can return and make better.

Even after so many rolls developed in Rodinal I came across technical setbacks recently. A few rolls pushed 2 stops of Tri-x gave me very weak negatives. So I have been stubborn to find some alternatives. I found one recently while surfing the net which is called Stand developing method. Basically the developer is diluted to 1:100 or 1:200 and once the roll is in the can all agitation takes place in the first 30 seconds to 1 minute. The tank then sits for an hour (or two hours based on the dilution). What this supposedly does is develops a fuller negative. Because the amount of developer is so small it does not over develops the negative but simply dies while developing the film. I read somewhere where a guy left a roll in the can overnight and still got some useful negatives.

I do not know how this will work for me. As I am writing this I have a roll I did this morning. A typical suburban life and scenes. In one of the shots I found a very plain house with two cars as the standard for what suburbia is supposed to look like. Then there was a garage sale, then some apartment buildings on the edge of woods (over development of suburbia) and a photograph of a real-estate sight now overgrown in tall grass. All this on a roll of 12 is souping right now in Rodinal at 1:200 dilution for 2 hours. Some 50 minutes still left.

For now a photograph from the old rollei of a different sight but still of New Jersey. A plant (incinerator I think) that I see from a train everyday on my way to the finical area of Jersey City.

I took out the old Rolli I have, a camera made in the early 1950s, and ran a roll of tri-x in it. I am making progress in figuring out why my previous pushed processed rolls were disappointments. But I need to do some more rolls to know for sure.

Tonight, a quick hand held shot of 1/25th motion blurred photograph from the Rolli on the commute home. Tri-x pushed in Rodinal to 1600 at 71F 22min.

I have started to be more conscious of photographing my commute. The idea here is that being in the same trend of everyday I am trying to see a pattern of consistency with the photographs I take along the way. My answer lately to the question of type of work that I photograph is social documentary. I am a big fan of Magnum organization. I'd like to find more of the elements found in those photographers work in my work.
With plenty of gear in my possession the only thing left to do is to photograph. Despite a recent setback of pushing Tri-x to ISO 6400 and getting less then acceptable results, has not deterred me from experimenting some more. Since most of my work is done in the evening (after dayjob hours) and weekends I am trying to find a discipline of processing pushed rolls that I can somewhat relay on. One of the specific locations I am concentrating on is NYC. Everyone has done it and thats the best part about it. I want to be there photographing to see how I see it. I am interested what my interpretation, opportunity, and the decisive moment will be. Outside of that I do not know what to think of these surroundings. I am much often unsettled around here. I am thinking more often of leaving and that would mean Europe.
Photograph from a commute as mentioned before. This is the tonal quality I am after.

September 25th is the 18 year anniversary of my arrival in USA. Some thinking about the subject tonight. I am including the photograph I mentioned in my post from few weeks ago. I am late with it.

This was taken last monday on the day of the anniversary of the Katyn Forrest massacre in 1940. So in this post a combination of reflections on history in a private and world content way.
Katyn of course of an event very much unknown to the west of the brutal and systematic killing of intelligence by the Soviets in the territories they were setting on to later control.

I finished Kapuscinski's book Friday. I have another one by him titled "Shadow of the Sun" which I will start after re-reading some of Susan Sontag's literary criticisms and few other scattered pieces on Photography. I find that when I don't shoot as much as I would like the readings helps motivate me in the few moments I have.
I received my contact sheets back from Mary Ellen Mark also on Friday along with a positive and encouraging letter. I really enjoy critiques of other photographers who's work I really admire. And to receive words of encouragement such as that i have an excellent eye was a great compliment. What is great about her letter is that the critique is very much constructive. Her arguments for the reasons follow a very organized tone in which there is not much room to say something just to satisfy and sound nice.
I have 3 rolls of film waiting to be developed. One is an experimental Tri-X pushed to ISO 6400 and the other two are both at ISO 400. One roll I shot on my commute on monday while the second I don't exactly remember. It can't be more then 2 weeks old because I would not have it rolling around my bag for longer then that.

Another post with a photograph today when the 2 rolls at ISO 400 dry. The roll pushed to the max is drying... the ISO 6400 experiment is dead. Did not work for street shooting. Back to slow shutter speeds and narrow depth of field at ISO 1600. In other words, stricter discipline.

Still working on processing (digitally) the 35mm scans I did two weeks ago. I hadn't really had time to work on them. So tonight just a photograph from the ongoing lot. A tacky memorabilia salesmen.

Road trip to Canada was simply great. But no photographs from it. With only 3 days there there was too little time. I drove some 700+ Kilometers in the Canadian countryside though. Very Peaceful and picturesque. But because the distances between the towns were packed against the busy schedule I didn't even get a chance to take out the camera from the bag.

After scanning the 35mm negatives in the last weeks and making contact prints this past sunday I am left in limbo whether I should shoot color for now. Maybe its the 35mm negatives that I am not used to looking at. But I also will be trying some Tri-x at ISO 6400 in the next few weeks where the grain is intriguing me more then colors.

Printing color is what turned me a way a little. There is so much interpretation of color balance that is that factor alone that can alter the mood. Black and white is more to the point I think. The colors don't distract and the tones only emphasize. So that is the dilemma for now.

Tonight a color photograph from the 35mm negatives. A County Fair from back stage view.

For the last few days I have been reading Ryszard Kapuscinski's 'Travels with Herodotus' which have kept me from the computer. I scanned some 160+ frames of 35mm film in between that time. I started to edit them this evening but the process will take some time.
The book is a great journey though history and first person encounters with different cultures before the full blow globalization changed all that. There is a sense of understanding the changes about places like India and China and how some elements are deep rooted in the diversity of culture.
On my last trip to Poland I picked up a book which includes various brief interviews of some of Poland's best known photographers. The first one is Mr. Kapuscinski and my main motivation of buying the book. To be honest I have yet to go though the book at length and oddly I stated the book in english before reading his interview in Polish. But I wanted to read his true work. Photography was of second importance in his travels. And with that I read so far I see how talented he really was in his writing.
All this of course is related to photography. In few days I will drive out to Canada. I really like Canada for some reason. Actually its more specific then that. People and the climate have a very familiar European feel and the weather reminds me of Poland. A quick fix via a 5 hour drive. I'll be driving out to Quebec City which is about 3 hours drive further then my last two trips. Of course this will include a camera and film. I am thinking of finishing some of the 35mm film stock I have left from workshop. So more color soon.
For now I am including a photograph I like the best from the roll I did with the Leica which a fellow photographer lent me to use at the workshop. I have a portrait of him in action which I will post soon along with other color frames from the 160+ frames.
I like this photograph for the mere simplicity of the young girl's expression among the complex lighting though the pattern of leaves reflecting above. There is a natural balance in the photograph due to the human expression of the little girl.

I have returned from my summer recess. Not that I went anywhere but my last 3 weeks included multiple trips to NYC buying ink for the Epson printer (I am seriously thinking about selling this printer due to maintenance costs), printing a quick portfolio of B&W prints for the Mary Ellen Mark workshop, and running the film into NYC back again.
The workshop was good. Its a mix of networking and discipline in the presence of a world renowned photographer. I was the technically savvy guy and Mary told me she uses a Mamiya 7 as well. She suggested I add a flash for my general street work. I did. I got a Metz. I am still deciding whether to keep it or now. There is an advantage to using a flash as a fill in. Mainly its set minus 2 stops to the regular scene. My tests seemed to support the fact it helps. But more testing is needed.
The great thing about the workshop were some of the people I met. Neither have websites here I could share but the work presented was tremendous. Once they do put it up somewhere on the web I'll post the links right away.
I ended up shooting 5 rolls of 35mm film at a Fair we all went to. The film is still in NY at a lob recommended from Mary Ellen. But I did not get them to scan the film since it was $15 per roll in addition to the processing. I sort of regret it but need to take the film to a darkroom to print contact sheets and send them for review. The scanner I have here won't be the most time efficient nor detailed tool to scan the 35mm (for 120 it does a decent job) so I'll just need to devote some extra time to it.
A great photographer whom I befriended lent me his Leica M6 with the 21mm lens. Amazing tool even in the digital age. That was just one roll of TriX. The rest of all work was done in color with the Contax G2. Here is one photograph done with Leica.

Black and White is intriguing me a lot lately. There is a sense of interpretation of reality with the tones I have been getting. Here is an example of a walk though the Northeastern USA woods.

Long overdue post. I have been keeping busy in the preparation for the Mary Ellen Mar workshop in 3 weeks. I now have to find some time to sit and go though a box with negatives. I am trying to keep my work most recent in the portfolio I am printing. This process is very useful. Its also showing me some consistency of my older work. Its all about elements but I can see progression. It is a very rewarding feeling... at least sometimes.

Photograph tonight is from Friday. I was walking though a forest and found this tree. I liked the hole in the trunk because no other tree had it.

Too few posts lately but partly because I have been realizing that most of my thoughts in the last few days are criticism of general lives around me. I even started to stereotype. After-all there is some truth to stereotypes. And if you use your imagination then you can really adopt a stereotype. I find them useful so find the right atmosphere sometimes. But then again I jump from one stereotype to another and each world in between. Sometimes the camera comes along and I have proof of it. Most days its all in the words and jokes and another day worked.

Few days ago in my previous post I was hopeful and open minded. But coming back to earth I realize few elements were really understood by the other party. I say this because some things are worth believing in and require more then a quick observation. Hardest part is believing in making a change in yourself. It happens but it takes too damn long since I am a quite determined person once I know I will try out for something.

The other day I got comment on a first impression of me from a model I work with. I found it strange but I did not explain to her why I might of came off that way. The comment however made me think about first impressions I could make and I am realizing that I care much less then when I was younger. It simply is not that important to me in the end. At first of course I get caught up in the dance and trip miserably while I probably embarrass myself. But so what... isn't that part of the fun to finding yourself again. The great thing is that I am self reliant in that finding process . I no longer seek others to give me a pat on the back that it be all good. It won't and I might as well face it myself. Its like playing chess without knowing your opponent's skill level... or something like that. You never will fully know everything about yourself until you believe in things that come in your life. If necessary you burn out to get them. The worst scenario is that you'll just have to try again.

I am lost in incomplete thoughts this evening. I see images and remember words that come together. I want to go back and make things more perfect, the light more even and more dramatic, but is it not that the imperfection itself what makes me go forward? Oh, I just hope whatever I am attempting did not get completely
wrong by my impatience. Judgment of others means little to me on any other day but then, there are those days like today when 20 minutes make me hope I had things more together. So time will tell.

I am finding out at 29 how many little worlds I actually live in on daily basis. I know they're getting smaller as I get older. At least its less exhausting to jump form one another since there are less of them. I' tired. Life gets more stable as I get older.

I met someone the other day who understood some observations I have made. But I do not know how to tell them I understand theirs. I do. And I know how to change that reality. I do not know how to tell them that either. But conversation with this person give me understanding of my own. I am waiting to read some of the writing.

I like artists. I have learned what that that definition means. I like the fact I can recognize the characteristics of one.

The photograph is from California. The simplistic composition in an complex environment where I find myself lately.

Photography, at least mine, is directly connected to life unless it is purely commercial. But even then the argument can be that photographer's creativity comes from personal motivation. My photography is about observation with the goal of sincerity toward either the subject or the thought behind the photograph.

A couple of evenings ago I was luckily reminded of the link between life and the art. Nowadays I go though dry spells a lot less then I did in the past but the truth is they will always occur. Change is good and at least for me the change from the ordinary while revisiting the familiar has given me the chance to build on what I learn. I wonder though what would happen, and more specifically, what will happen once I leave the sort of calm of my rhythm where I was able to build on all these experiences up to now. Time will tell.

The link I mentioned above became evident from a series of conversations that given me the optimism to keep taking chances. I guess the older you become the wiser decisions one hopes to make. But how does the emotional link change in its reaction? So art work created or any other life experience is spurred by instinct with fate as its creator and faith that its possible.

Late night again but I managed to keep my word to myself and did whole bunch of things I wanted to this evening. On top of it all I all I managed to scan the roll of 10 (full roll) from my Sunday morning shoot at 7am. I am very pleased with the results. One roll by choice.

This is Georgie. I like the structure in this photograph.

Out of 3500 entries I have made it to the semifinals that includes 100 best photographs in the dayjob Photogrphy Contest. I am proud of that this evening.

I had some re-connecting time with models from last few months who legitimately became disappointed in me in disappearing. Truth is I was more lost in what I do then I could admit to myself. Disappearing is easy because it is very immature. Truth is I feel terrible when I don't return a call. I never used to... but as I get older I do. Plus, I got some truly sincere complements from a model I worked with once that she like the work for herself. Now I am going to give fashion a try.

This is Mary, a retro girl, who I hope to find to give her at least a CD from a shoot back in November.

This marks my 100 post. I've meant to write it few days earlier but being that my birthday is also today I'd figured I'd combine the occasion. I took the laptop out with me and rode out to the local park. I sat on the grass and scanned for any wireless connection... the last place I figured would have it.. but it does. Technology is so convenient sometimes. Of course the connection is not fast but its great to be able to open a laptop and hit anything I need to look up or read up on. Not sure about the security though. But I am not logging in anywhere and I'll post this entry from home anyway.

Yesterday I photographed a Christening for a family friend. Everyone seemed to really like the pictures. But all was shot with Nikon D70 which I keep for such events. Maybe I ought to photograph a little more with it. I haven't bought any new lenses for it. In fact the ones I have are somewhere from the 80s.

(location changed - now in my room and much later in the room)

I don't know what happened to today but its now time to get ready for tomorrow. Hopefully an interesting week. The photograph tonight is from a walk back home few weeks ago. A fence across the road I walk home spells out the close community. The mothers talk as the children played in the back, on the other side of the fence.

I went to a wake this evening. An manager I had from a summer internship when I was working at Panasonic. I kneeled by the casket and prayed and when I looked up I saw Wayne tight there with all the treasures a man can be most proud of, his family. I remember Wayne very well. On Monday morning I received an email he passed away that evening. If I knew earlier I would of went to the hospital. But I did not know he was even ill. He was 58. Cancer. But every single memory I have of him is the one I wish people could have of me when I go on. I knew him. And although this man was not in my life but a few moments and a span of months I remember him vividly. There are some people so significant in one's life even for a moment.
My father was with me at the wake. He said something that was the absolute truth about Wayne. Wayne was his best friend. My father is an engineer and not the most sociable fellow but I believed him without hesitation. He was his best friend. So that is two people who are grateful to come in contact with someone so special to them both. Ah, tonight I am lost for words. Please forgive the lack of a photograph.

The weekend went by with little time to post new work. But at least my days during the week are easier to plan for that.

Tonight a quick entry from the trip back in November. This is Lancaster County in Pennsylvania. On a little tour of the house I just found this arrangement as to show the elements of Amish life. I remember waiting for a car passing by to give the photograph the distinction of life outside the window and the way of life the Amish have kept for generations.

I posted lyrics to songs here before and this time I'd rather write about it. I had a series of odd dreams last two nights and despite bringing up my past I found them comforting. Leonard Cohen's 'Teachers' sum them up the best.

in the process of scanning new work. I finally mailed a CD to a model from a shoot in January. It felt good to deliver. I think she'll like them despite being a quick shoot without much aim.

Ended up in NYC this evening after work. The weather warm and the sun shining longer the streets looked just cool. I like NYC like this. I see the little scooters buzzing and I want to get a bike again. I even test drove the new Ducati 695 which will be my next bike. The model I was on had the upgraded exhaust and man was it nice and loud. Ah! So, in NYC for a lecture. Sadly it was a book signing for a photographer who by exposing his weakness of not really knowing his subject disappointed me. The photography was very competent but his motivation behind it only showed that he just kept at it, that is at producing work. Sad because I really like some of the photographs. He went to Czech republic and photographed in that area. I am working on a similar project in Poland. My motivation is strictly nostalgic and sentimental to everything I love and dislike there. But all those elements in my photographs from there are representing my moods, function, and existence elsewhere. I am Polish and although I live outside of it my home is always in Warsaw. Can;t really explain this one . I saw a great documentary the other day where one of the main subject expressed this very idea. He said it and I am just repeating it here. In the world of Globalization I do not believe there is much of Immigration left at least from developed countries.

I picked up new work from few months ago. I will scan tomorrow and Thursday so new(er) work coming within 2 days.

Sitting in a bar this afternoon. I had the laptop in the car and decided to sit back and do some PS work for an entry. I ended up doing a portrait session with a friend yesterday for the book/project I mentioned earlier so today I went to drop of my sheet film and two older rolls in NYC. I do not know any professional labs in NJ that are on the way I usually go. But the best thing about living in this are is the access to these sort of resources. Duggal is a huge commercial lab doing some of the major commercial printing in NYC. I used them few years ago back when they were on 20th street. Now they're on 23rd and the facility is 4 times as large (or more). The best labs are the hidden ones. There are small custom shops that will print for big guys giving them the small shop feel. I wish I can get to that level some day. I'd like to have a printer who knows my work and gets the best out my negatives. But then again, I like to do this myself.

I am curious to the portraits I dropped off on the 4x5 sheets today. I was shooting on an angle and had to do tilts on the back and front parts of the camera. It was bright out and I hope I paid enough attention to distortion. If I messed it up I'll end up with a small head and a big torso. That's not good. But at least they'll look big and not fat.

Photograph tonight is from mid week. I shot a roll after work on my commute home. I'm trying to get some recent work for a portfolio I need to put together that I will present in August.

I found this old church driving around few weeks ago. The time of the day gave to the most harsh of lighting conditions. It was somewhere around noon. It wasn't even sunny. A bleak spring day which slept still and the warmth of the day just reminded me of so many boring locations I have seen recently. Ah, but here is the church. It looked like a place to be used in some thriller.

I am still in the process of moving some more files over to the laptop so although I am doing much more postings on the forums and finally participate in some great discussions I have been putting off the blog until some more images are in my portable archives. That soon will change. The weather is great outside and I'm already planning some shoots.

I am surprised with the planning I now undertake in projects. My recent one is a book of portraits based on personal relations of some sort or some significance on my life. Today for example I asked a fellow collage whom I have been discussing Buddhism in recent weeks if I could take a portrait for my book. He agreed and I was very happy to find out that the location will be a rooftop garden in the Greenwich Village in new york. Slowly the list is growing into a significant project. I am for once reaching out of the box to fill my book and challenge myself. So more of some exiting things to come. The photo-shoot mentioned above will be sometime in June as my May is already looking full with some ideas I have.

Tonight I am including a photograph from February. I call it the 'point of reference' as this was my view out the window of the apartment in Krakow. I bet this little van hasn't moved in years but it looks neat in the space and it offered a familiar point of reference retuning to the apartment after sightseeing the city.

I've been honored few months back to join a group of photographers on the web where some real thoughts and real people talk about their creative lives. I am only now discovering the true value of this invitation. I owe a big thanks to my friend.

I've been strangely procrastinating the review and contributions to web forums after burning out on one some few months back. Multiple factors contributed to that. For one I was really turned off by people with little experience proclaiming the 'industry' standards. More so I disliked the fact that the artistic approach was attributed to nudes only. The only thing that kept me going back (and still does) was in part to some folks who bring in a higher standard even when contributing to a spiraled downward gutter talk.
But to be fair I need to confess that I was confused on my choice of tools at the time. I have since found what I needed to realize the next steps which actually hold the value of using those tools. Photography to me is a way to live my life around.

Tonight an eagle flying high over the canyon of power lines.

So with conversations I've been having lately I come to some satisfying feeling of not going at issues I'v been having alone. I'm also looking back and realize that the past is teaching me to let go because the same stuff goes around the track just dressed up differently.
The weather finally broke and now its actually warm. The one project I am going to do this spring and summer is a series of portraits with the 4x5 camera. I've already asked 3 people and they all willing to do it. There is no other reason for these portraits but my own. All of sitters in these portraits will be people I am willing to spend time with, whether at work or outside of work, to get to know them a little better. But this does not mean they always stay in my life. I suppose through this project they will. I will have these negatives with me for years to come. My life moves very quickly and it still amazes me that despite seeking some unique elite of people that I actually can relax around, I often find myself with books and the internet satisfying a solitude which fills with thoughts.
The winter delayed a lot of that. I simply hibernate creatively in the winter time. Shooting a roll occasionally satisfies my photography longing but the work until now had little effort,
I'm learning a lot in the last few weeks that is helping me with easing to accept things for how they are and how to best understand them in order to be productive. I mean this beyond photography and the art process. I suppose accepting oneself is a life time process. But I feel very angry and little with myself for producing below mediocre work in the last few months. The anger comes from the guilty feeling of approaching the work with procrastination.

Still cold outside. These days are flying by too quickly. I thought today how photography is my life. I tried to walk away from it at one point to get things organized but I was lost. I remember a scene from college when in one the classes I took on photography for the use of the darkroom the instructor was offering words of encouragement as if for his students not to give up photography. He commented through some people at the table and then he turned to me and said: 'You, you'll always will be photographing'. Its true. And I do it on film because it makes it scarce. You'd figure that process would make you choose frames much more carefully. But that's only half true. I do not want to see the image right after I take it. I want to live the moment though and work the camera. I do find it necessary to be re-assured every time the shutter is triggered. I like the developing process. And if I mess up a roll, oh I'll be out there again shooting more. Its just how I am.


This is a photograph from Krakow. This is about 30% of the original frame. The cross is a monument for 20,000 Polish Officers murdered by the Red Army in 1940. Katyn is a forest in the east of Poland. The event was Stalin's propaganda blaming it on the Nazi SS. The questioning of the Polish exiled government in London played right into cutting off diplomatic ties. The Polish Officers were the doctors, professors, layers, professionals that formed among the best of Polish intelligentsia. The purge was the house cleaning to set up four years later the communist rule.

There is a beautiful monument on the same subject that I am planning in photographing with the 4x5 but there is park renovation in progress and I'm hoping that will clear up in a month or two.

I’m feeling very tense lately. It’s probably the fact that I am awaiting warmer whether do get out and run a little. Other then that I fought of some sort of flu this winter for the 3rd time. I hope it’s the last of it.

Another one from the series of finding new interpretations of the negatives I am revisiting. In this photograph there was a wall on the right part with a modern day garbage can so that was taken out for a more atmospheric feel that his Wawel courtyard truly had especially on a flurry midweek cold February day.

And here is another one from the crops. Almost all previous posts, until otherwise motioned, were full frames. And the 4x5 work is the mostly the entire negative (minus scratches in the corners I am trying to eliminate by cleaning the film holders). After my conversation with Don today I realize croping is a normal practice. It makes me feel to know this is ‘ok’ to do. And since Josef Koudelka does it the ‘ok’ gives new life to some of my previous photographs posted here.

The photograph is of Krakow's old town streets. Krakow was untouched by the Germans in WWII and has a lot of beautiful atmospheric streets. This is one of them. I cropped some excessive details leaving the human elements in the frame. I think at most I cropped 15% of the entire frame. I just think this shows best that the city although old is thriving in all its corners.

And so the second photograph finally from my cropping attempt the other night. This is not a habit but a mere attempt in taking out the edges of the photograph which might have been beyond me at the moment I took the photograph. Since I don't often pose nor go into a excessive setup process (at least while traveling) I can only have so much control of the final frame.

In the spirit of Easter, all the wonderful wishes to everyone.

Down the path (rom the previous post) was this enterence. These churches are very old and I really like this gateway. Krakow, Poland, February 2007.

Good Friday. Took a camera with Tri-x to a Polish town where my parents do their holiday food shopping but I ended up not photographing. The store was packed but I know it’s not a place to photograph. So I helped out my parents and walked over to a near by liquor store to buy them a case in half liter 20 bottles of OKOCIM, a fine Polish beer and this is their strong version with 7% alcohol in it. But no booze today nor meat for that matter. Tomorrow off to church to bless the little basket of food (which hopefully I'll get to shoot with 4x5 before the noon mass).

And finally, a photograph. I had some fun cropping and working on composition in the post production phase. So tonight and tomorrow in the spirit of Easter I am including 2 photographs taken in Krakow (Cracow) in the beginning of February.

The photograph tonight is very sharp. In fact it seems a lot of my Mamyia 7 negatives have a life inside each frame when I play around with the cropping. In this frame a little form the right side was cropped. But I like the figure in the left corner looking down into the camera.

There is something very special in loosing oneself in his or her work. There is something much more comforting when that work is of artistic pursuit. But the definition of art has to be defined here as for individual pursuit of one’s ideas or expression in a way that satisfies its creator. Anything else will most likely have some commercial connotation and very quickly will become a craft. Craft can be artful but I have an opinion that craft can be imitated, duplicated, and pinned against heavy completion of the process was too easily found. But art is individual. Picasso was not concerned to be clear in his paintings. I understand more of his work by understanding him. But some of his work I’ll never get nor will try to understand. I’ll adopt as my own.
Photography works the same way. The beginning of the century worried many painters the development of photography meant to their profession. But those were the skill and craft changes. The vision remains individual. Art when personal, in pursuit of ones intrest, is most rewarding. The audience can be found later.

I attended a lecture yesterday with Josef Koudelka at the Aperture Gallery in NYC. I was among the lucky ones who got a seat. There were quite a few seats reserved for the Photography and Publishing bigger names. But when a woman who co-lectured along with Mr. Koudelka commented on his photography the clear distinction of audience vs. the photographer was evident. Mr. Koudelka answered in a straightforward way which I undertood despite his average English and distinct accent. He spoke from the simplicity of vision.

This blog is becoming to mean more to me now that I have begun to think about my photography on a purely personal level. It took me a long time to break the bond of commercial excuse to my photography. I do not seek to purse photography for anything other then my interests in it. However that might sound I am not saying I won't offer my skills in assisting others. But not on a commercial scale.
I have not shot much in the last two months. Winters have that effect. Its cold and grey outside and dull. Today was good day for photography with a evenly overcast sky giving a crisp outline to everything. But I didn't bring a camera with me. I'll start that again soon though.

Tonight a photograph that with somewhat survived the underdevelopment from last night. To be honest I'd love to get great usable negatives on each roll but how easy things would be then. But as an encouragement to all, with time and understanding my gear and myself the camera more often the extension of my eye and though instinct connected to a ongoing reflection. In the photograph are my parents leaving the church on Palm Sunday.

Sharing from peronal expereince, the time listed at Digitaltruth.com for Tri-X in rodinal 1:50 at 18.5 minutes is not recommened. The roll I shot 2 days ago is drying with 3 possibly usable frames. But I'll scan them tommrow. In the past I would probably be pissed about the result but somehow I am fine with it these days. The fact of shooting film gives such result a true appriciation for a developed roll.
I have been reminded by Pope John Paul II greatness in the last 24 hours. Its now been 2 years and the time of his death I was in Poland feeling the loss. The whole country came together. It was(is) an amazing place in the world to be and feel powerful events.

I have typed an entry only to loose it few moments ago. Sadly or maybe better for that reason since my writing is not my strong point. But to satisfy my frustration into a compromise that I did try I am posting this. Despite the lingering cold that keeps on coming back and my runny nose I am about to sleep and relax to the thought that this week is short.
I have a roll of Tri-X I shot yesterday at a church while the ongoing mass stretched in celebrating the Palm Sunday. Listening to the crowd singing I thought very much how wonderful the voices echoed though the church.
No photograph tonight because as I mentioned the roll is yet to be developed. But I’m curious how the roll will come out. So until tomorrow then.

Getting out to see different photographers at book signing is really an experience I was missing. These meetings have been really clearing up my mind. I’ve been very frustrated lately or in the past rather. I can’t say that it all went away because none of it really does, but to some extent it takes on a much suitable form of discipline and attention to the small details that make a shoot a successful one.
I’ve been idling last few weeks with the exception of the 2 photographs two weeks ago. So now that the weather is getting warmer I am coming out of my hibernation. Color print 4x5 film and some darkroom time. Perhaps a workshop at Center of Photography at Woodstock(CPW).
This is a photograph of NYC waking up on a foggy autumn day. The view on such mornings is spectacular. Slightly adjusted in PS to get the color of the day from a vague memory.

I have heard the best definition or defense rather for film photography versus digital last night. I didn’t have the best of days yesterday. I woke up late and running around the house I got dress as if in a routine of everyday except that yesterday as I slipped on two shoes they were different. Similar color but way different style of shoes is what I realized on the train. So at this point embarrassed as I was I did not feel like attend the lecture at the Aperture gallery in NYC that evening. And at the same time I thought why not? Who cares… and if it applies which I think it does, I thought how bohemian. And from there as silly as I felt I figured I wanted to go to this lecture for a reason.
The photographer was Bert Teunissen. His work is all 4x5 and with available light only. His exhibition is titled ‘Domestic Landscapes’ and I think its superb. The important element of attending such lectures is the little stories behind the pictures. Mr. Teunissen connects them very well to his as true photographers do.
But to the original premise of the definition, Mr. Teunissen statement was that film photography consists of the process that is fragile to its surroundings. The digital camera is a computer which at best gives an average of data it captures on a chip. Any Photoshop adjustments are playing with just data. I agree. And to know Mr. Teunissen travels Europe via car and his 4x5 gear gives me a great boost to know all such efforts can produce superb work in a class of its own.
My next thing is to get quick enough with my 4x5 and better at approaching strangers for a portrait as I seem to find such work most satisfying.
Photograph tonight is not of a person but marks left by one. I like the reflection in the right corner from the frame in the windshield of the old architecture while down below are some old cars and a modern mark of spray-paint can. This was taken in Krakow in a very old Jewish section which is full of beautiful old buildings and a very active nightlife full of best pubs I have ever found in one city. Krakow’s nightlife is absolutely phenomenal.

I’ve been lost in thoughts for the last two weeks on various subjects. But I think it might be the weather for one thing being 70F one day and 28F 2 days later for highs of the day.

Street photography has always been a favorite of mine. Ever since I was a child I traveled a lot which built my imagination and understanding of places as needing to understand for the atmosphere of it. Whenever I look at street photography of a place in time I try to remember how they fit into the topics of history or someone’s biography I might have stumbled upon. The photograph, in most cases black and white, closes the gap of imagined and real to some degree. Of course I am talking about many photographs of many photographers who contributed in the documentation of that atmosphere.

My photographs tend to be a reflection of where I was. A document to myself of a place. It is not necessarily an interpretation or an explanation of the location I have traveled to but a given instant from where I was. Since I shoot film the frames are scarce. Whether it was the best picture of the moment is not true either. I don’t believe there is such photograph in street photography. There are photographs that include a decisive moments but sometimes the everyday scene can put a memory or a thought in perspective and at the same time serve as a universal moment that’s not uncommon to our everyday life when we look around.

This is Krakow. The little car has some pull I assume. The billboard that’s attached to the car is advertising real estate.

‘..I used to care but things have changed..’ so goes my journey to find what is it all about from all different ways it can mean something. Whatever it is and how it means that life follows it. The suburbs, the work ethic, the loosing of oneself in the mundane and refusal to see that there is more color to a shade of grey. Sports is that grey in the suburbs. The glorification of the athletes over a thinkers or a writer who puts it on some sort of rails toward a better understanding of ‘it’…. Oh well, ‘I used to care but things have changed…’ As Mr. Dylan sums my pursuit so well…

Tonight a photograph made yesterday afternoon. A re-visit a baseball field I shot over the summer. This time between the fences you can better see the overturned soccer goal post and the houses behind it.

After attending a lecture mid week I realize how conservative my photography and my thinking of photography has been. I can’t seem to get into abstract use of the medium just to break away from the norm. There is some from of order that a photograph requires in order for the viewer to take notice of it. I’m referring to multi exposed and visually complex images that go beyond showing much of what we could see in the real world.

Tonight I am including photograph I shot earlier today on a 4x5 sheet using all the tilts and swings of the camera that I could. I find this to be the true advantage and pallet of Large format photography. The image is of a piece of metal fence left behind on the sand around a Baseball diamond. Around the fence are fresh deer tracks. This is my abstract photograph in the afterthoughts of breaking some boundaries.

Suburbs are a compromise of big cities. I live some 45 minutes by train from Midtown Manhattan. There’s no convenience here of walking out of the house and within a block finding a grocery store. There is no pub that could be reached on foot. So life without a car is limited. I’d love to get a Vespa scooter. It’ll probably look strange riding around town among the Harley and sport bike crowds but so what! Going to a coffee shop or even picking up few grocers is all reachable little faster then walking in the suburbs. The winters here limit this somewhat. Motorcycles are of course the next level up. I will get back to them in the future.

So the photographs tonight are from NYC walks within last week. The 36 exposure rolls are hard to get used to after Mamyia 7’s 10 frames per 120 roll. For any future 35mm work I’ll be switching to 24 exposure rolls.

To be honest I believe the Mamyia 7 is a wonderful street camera but not concealable. For fast paced action a camera that is slower and all manual might seem as the last tool but I honestly think the very fact of knowing your equipment and having the limits of getting ready to shoot prepares you better how best to blend these elements in composition. I find to have more productive 10 roll exposures then analyzing 35mm film for 2 or 3 good ones. Well, I don’t know how good these choices are but I am including them after looking though at the negatives without a contact sheet. Larger format allows you to see the negative details. I’ll try to stick with the 35mm for a little longer. Some 4x5 soon to change the pace but the 35mm will be around.

I'm behind few things but did not want to let tonight go without a post. I started a roll of 35mm last week and finished it yesterday. All of was pretty much shot in NYC.
I forgot how much work there is with 35mm. The small reels to load the film, the lengths of the film, and the tiny spaces between the frames for cutting are a big change coming from 120 and 4x5 film. But the challenge is cool although I don’t know how long it will last.

The photograph is from walking though Times Square while standing by the crosswalk. A NYC cab pulled right next to me with newlywed couple sitting in it. Amidst all the chaos (there was some anti-war demonstration a block away) here was a couple who's limo probably never showed. But what was striking is how calm it looked inside the car. This is where 35mm shines. It’s quick. No polarizer filter to get thought the glare but the flowers inside came out somewhat in focus.

Something on the last roll from Krakow that mystifies me. I took two frames of an old church court yard but they came out blurry. Two frames completely out of focus. I took 5 rolls and many more with the Mamiya 7. I never had is so out of focus before. To some odd degree they almost seem interesting in the softness of the outlines. But I still need to give them a second though before I would post them here. I am a bit surprised how it could have happened.

Well, tomorrow’s evening is a visit to a lecture at the Aperture gallery in NYC form a photographer whose subject have been Muslim women shot on location in the Middle East. The Aperture lectures are phenomenal and I so glad to live in this area if just for these. So tomorrow I might get home late and not have a moment to post but Wednesday I’ll most likely will reflect about it here.

The photograph tonight is from the trip 3 weeks ago with Ilona. This was out view from the window looking toward the Market of our apartment. We had a wonderful time in Krakow. On this very corner is a lounge we were looking for that was highly recommended to us. It might not been the most comfortable or best place we visited but the evening we went there we sat along candles on the table with very good atmospheric music. I remember looking at Ilona’s face to the candle light and it’s in my mind I have a photograph of that moment. We’ll have to shoot something like that so I can have it on paper to look at instead of just remembering. And of course moments like that are very much ones I love in her company.

Tonight I watched a documentary film released last year on Leonard Cohen titled “I’m Your Man”. I know pretty much most of Mr. Cohen’s work. The film itself is a documentary tribute of some folk and other artists singing his songs while in-between Mr. Cohen himself comments on himself mostly. U2’s Bono has probably the best observations on Mr. Cohen as an artist and that is exactly what the documentary is about. Leonard Cohen embraces the fact he is a writer and that so many years yield success only with getting up and wiring everyday. It’s the Patience that has enabled him to reflect in peace on his work. There is a bonus feature that includes an interview but I have not watched it yet. The sinning only shines when at the end of the documentary Mr. Cohen performs ‘Tower of Song’ with U2. The other musicians are mediocre at best. Leonard Cohen is a signature to the songs I came to know and draw pictures from so interpretations do not particularly interest me that much. If I can walkway with one or two ideas that spark my deeper thinking from such films then I call them very helpful. This is one of them but unless you know his work I would suggest listening to his original songs since the musicians here do not justice his lyrics deserve.

Ok, I lied. It would not be fair to get into a Magnum recognition and not post a photograph.

The photograph tonight is of Ilona. This was taken right before our flight back east at San Diego airport. Some 2 hours ago Don asked ‘So where do you want to go’ and I replied ‘The Desert’. Don was all set. Then I realized we sort of had to go back to the hotel and pack. Incredible trip. Don made us both feel like he was family. We were talking about that around the time I took this photo. We both knew we'll miss him.

If there is one photography organization I absolutely love then Magnum is what does it for me. I absolutely love reportage photography.

The strong statements tonight are inspired out of few details coming together. They serve a reminder why and how I found the most comfortable photographs from my early interest in it.

The older I get the more mature I suppose. I don’t think that is always true because I like to look at the world as some peaceful harmony of shapes, shades, and colors. The older I get the more truth I find out. I enjoy reading history books. I like to get the deeply researched works what can tell me how it was unbiased.

Reportage photography does that in a frame. A caption gives you the circumstance. Magnum photographers define life in a photograph.


In other news I have taken my Contax G2 out of retirement. If I’m somewhat successful I will sometimes post just a photograph if I deem it speaking it …. some words.

No photograph tonight. I’m got the last toll from Poland going up tomorrow.

Hey, is 35mm slide still beating a digiSLR?

So one roll is now left to develop and I can’t remember what’s on it. The roll I developed tonight was a bit disappointing not in content but in myself. In the midst of the conversation I set the camera wrong. I just didn’t pay attention because I was also I guest. I like my hermit ways of photographing. I stand there and observe so that with success I can not be too noticeable, or at least the camera. The roll form tonight has 4 more portraits of my uncle. But the photograph tonight a photograph that originally was to capture a trolley I used to take to my grandparents house as a child but we were driving and with the medium format camera everything is manual. I took the photograph but got the man and boy instead and the still man on the shoulder of the boy. There is something here but I am not sure what yet.

Nostalgic photographs tonight from where I grew up and have most found memories of childhood. This is where my childhood friends and I have played. Around these buildings was my world when I was a kid. I remember when near by the grass was tall over us and we would make tunnels. I remember when the summers came and the grass was cut into long lines from which all the children collected it and made heaps and houses from. I remember the first snow of the year and everyone running around occasionally collaborating to make a snowman. I remember all of this. I was there for mere 5 minutes some two weeks ago. I left when I was 11 years old but childhood memories are like fairy tales in my memory now. The photographs to me are full of those sentiments. These photographs are colored in my head.

Family. Part of my trips to Poland are all about seeing and spending time with Family. I have gotten used to living pretty much away from big gatherings. I have lived around my parents for most of my life. But on this trip I almost made a mistake and a chance of seeing my Uncle. His life has been though a dramatic change in the last year that I saw him. In the last day in Warsaw I saw him. I’m glad for the moments like this. It meant a lot to him as well.

The photographs are document in nature. These were two on a roll I just shot in my neighborhood where I grew up. I have an entire roll of him pretty much in this setting and that chair as our talk went on. I love photography for this very reason.

This is an attempt of a tight crop for the photograph below. This might not be a very photograph from start but at least up close the pigeon lady's outfit appears as if a scarecrow while blurred by motion dark figure is approaching. I was just curious what it would look like closer and sharing my comparison here with you.

In 12 plus years of photography I am now learning how much life a photograph has though proper presentation. By some very sad fact I had given this part very little attention now realizing that lack of confidence was because I did not fully remember work I’ve done. The blog is helping a lot by giving me a chance to select and post photographs. But then further down I am also revisiting them though viewing them scanned, then adjusted, and sometimes even cropped somewhat to produce the final image. It’s the process that I am learning about or maybe just really now paying attention to it. Some parts are mundane and repetitive but do yield progress. Some of the elements of the process become a second nature.
Tonight two photographs of quick city photograph of Krakow. The people were chosen for a purpose but not anticipated the perfect moment. The dirty old street has a human and modern element as does the photograph with the pigeon lady. Both photographs ironically have a car in them on these very old streets.

I’ve developed 2 rolls from 5 so far and at random they both happened to be from Krakow. We (Ilona and I) have walked most of the city during the few days there sightseeing for the most part. The weather was sunny the day we got there and sunny again when we were leaving but for the most part it was a cloudy even lit days which occasionally carried a flurry with it. Krakow is famous though European history and by most part undamaged by WWII unlike Warsaw which was rebuilt as far as the old part of town.
I shot at random and almost as if a tourist except the fact I wasn’t too concerned about the historical significance as I was about atmosphere. Shooting while on vacation is still something new to me and combined with how I perceive photography and memories translates into somewhat still to be defined selection.
So tonight I am including two photographs. Both are from Wawel castle where kings and queens were coroneted and biggest events concerning the kingdom took. The first photograph is the outlook though an archer’s hole onto Krakow. The second photograph is a gate which on looks an open yard.