Work has kept me form posting lately. Last night I picked up chemistry which I will mix since the beginning of the year gives a nice indicator for dating chemicals. I got a bag of fixer and Kodak's Rapid Selenium toner. The Selenium toner is something I haven't used much in the past. It’s primarily used for either toning prints (or film) which results benefiting highlights and permanence. So for the next few days I'll be searching all sorts of forums to find out good starting pints for dilution ratios and purposes. Supposedly Ansel Adam's The Negative book goes in some details on the subject so I will be looking at that tonight. Great book but Mr. Adams was not the most straightforward writer (nor easy to read).

Tonight a photograph of reflection on viewing art. The photograph is from MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) on no particular floor. Great collection of some wonderful work. I have another photograph which I will use another time now my website from the recent update.

Christmas Day! Merry Christmas Everyone! I went on too much about work in my last post. I think I am beating around the bush in some prevevious posts with trying to sound more neutral then what it really might be. But the blog is changing and I see the transformation happing where the writing gets little more sense with time. Sense as in the message or thoguht I am expressing. As with anything practice makes perfect (but the definition of perfect is as Art itself, in the eye of the beholder).

I have been taking snap shots with my Nikon D70 I had not for over 2 years I think. I lost the trust to that camera as attending an event it completly died on me in the middle of the action. An inexplainable failure of camera not reacting to anyhting. Aperenly it was a common problem for Nikon so much so that a special website existed. I sent in the camera and intially got an esitmate for the repairs but arguing with the rep he was able to put the appropriate comments and I had it fixed for free. Ever since the camera has little use. But last night I took few photographs more in the point and shoot style. The more pictures I took the more I realized how much I like the process of shooting film. Film looks better. Yes it might be a pain in the ass with the film speed and other factors but the look of film, even scanned, carries something more to me. I shoot less of course with film. I focus on the composition. I set up and even abort a paricular shot. Not with digital. You take it all. Then you go though the effort of picking out the right one. Its like talking alot and saying many things. But if one focuses the words can be organzied into a better speach. Words mean something when they're better organized. Ideas too. Portraits and photographs in general follow the trend.

This photograph is with Mamyia 7 on Tri-x in Rodinal 1:50. The locations is Sonoma Country in Northern California.

This evening when I left work I walked in a commercial section of Jersey City thinking how little it resembles any mood or the fact that Christmas is few days away. My week has been absolutely packed with more work then usual as people trade their positions in the old year. A lot of portfolio reallocations going on and the trading volume is very high. The market has been reflecting that pretty well with the record highs. So my walk tonight was just like any with the weather warm for this time of the year. It is now officially Winter and I did not see any snow yet this winter. And with work so busy I did not even have a chance to enjoy the small decorations in the lobby of the building I work in. Its very bizarre how strange this Christmas is to me this year. Too commercial and perhaps as a friend mentioned this evening the infux of different immigrants from Asia damped down the typically European customs that not too long were the dominant one in this area.

I started to reflect today how in the last 3 years or so the power of data has been driving the mentalities of advertising and in the end affect the consumer thinking about purpose. Sooner or later we are all watching ourselves playing a part because it’s inescapable. But though knowing yourself and your values there still is a chance to win against this all. The moment people are treated as materialistic objects is a dark screeching halt to stop and think what we are all about. There is no way it has to ever be so shallow. We are trained to think of the next best thing but what happens to enjoying what we have and taking the faults to be as natural instead of replaceable.

Dairies and personal journals carry this sort of individual and important evaluation of personal values. Other then this blog I don’t keep one. I wish I was more motivated to do so and maybe it will come with time. I started one recently as a way to remember my photography notes and some vivid dreams I sometimes have but have been too lazy to record them for now. Like for example the other night I dreamt of an enclave in a post nuclear attack. I calmly and slowly walked with a special person to me knowing that sooner or later its all we have. It was a strange dream but the calmness in it just emphasized that what happens is meant to be and might as well make most out of it. The most important emphesis of my dream was that the feeling of comfort I was feeling was because of the person and the people around me.

So this Christmas season I am reflecting on old experiences and the ones I realized what’s most important. I see how true friends I have for years and nothing comes easy. I see that ones I no longer keep in touch with did not care enough to be there. I forgive all of them and forgive myself for all the mistakes and mishaps that carried all the wrong feelings. I am very happy where I am and happy where I am going. No one knows where that leads but being true to one self is a start. I learned the most from friends but with this season’s thinking I am learning from myself, finally.

This is a photograph from my Philadelphia outing. The horse and a carriage. Simple but I hope tonight’s entry was not confusing in what I was trying to say which is that few individuals are the true treasure in this big commercial world.

I am fighting an oncoming cold in the last 4 days but more intensely in the last two. Everyone around has either had it or is in the final stages of having it. Me? I have nuked it pretty much every night but today I pushed it a more generous portion of Nyquil. So before my drowsiness overtakes I want to take a moment to write.

The photograph few posts down of the model in Philadelphia is a success. She likes it. It was a lighter version of the posted photograph. I am amazed how good it came out considering it was shot pretty much at night with some side lighting form the inside the building. It was damn cold and that’s for sure. The weather lately has just been too odd. Its strange to have 50s but bare branches with the soft winter sun falling on it. Something sleepy and strange about that. Or maybe I just miss California… probably.

In my next post I want to touch on journals and writings kept in the traditional way. There is something very special about that. But I need to be more awake and less sick to get into it.

Today I received a Christmas card on which the address was complete wrong. The street address was one I don’t think even exist. But I did get a beautiful card with a wonderful letter. A little Christmas miracle. It cheered me up because lately I have been feeling very down for one reason or the other but I do attribute it to the cold I am fighting.

This is another photograph from the Philadelphia shoot. Tri-x pushed to 1600 in Rodianl at 1:50 ratio.

Art in is subjective. I do not think there is a school of interpretation to be followed. I do believe it comes from the heart and drive of feeling something toward the visual. Jackson Pollack’s work is something I completely understand. Most other contemporary work I do not and get angry that the highly priced work grabs enough of attention to force the still more naïve people toward believing is the work of mere poor craft.
Last night I was at a dinner with older folks who reminisced about the time they grew up in (60s and 70s) with constant underling how they were a part of an era where music meant something, how that time was original and unmatched by whatever followed. It might be so for art as well. The apex for painters was replaced by photographers but only because it made the visual easier to understand. However the art of painting is the process I long for in my own work which is based in film.

Mary (MM model) in Phildalephia.

The last post's photograph came out much darker then my screen. In time to come I will re-post it perhaps but the image I will print for my book is slighly lighter thus giving it a bit more life of mystery.

Shadows are very intriguing to me. The contrast of light and subdued is a constant visual representation of everything I try to understand. I tend to think in extremes sometimes and lately my moods have been exhausted by this practice. I will relax sometime soon but for now it’s the choices of thoughts that need to be sorted. Don’s blog had recently mentioned Bohemia. As much as I ‘think’ I need ordered environments I always find my own space in a slight sort of disarray. I respect neatness but I am unable to sustain if for a longer period of time.

Just developed the 2nd black and white tri-x roll. The images are all extremes of shadow and highlights. The film is drying so far but I love the tonality of the negatives. These most likely will be of little use to the model unless she likes the shadows and the mood of the images. Patience is a virtue. The film is now drying and I must remain patient.

This photograph is of … well a place … while I wait… in Philadelphia last Saturday.

More on bohemia soon. I have yet to define it here. Art is beautiful when its human. Photography is best to represent that. I praise Don’s work for the content diversity while always remaining human.

Its very late tonight and I need to be up in few short hours. I did managed to develop one roll out of 3 from Saturday's shoot. I have a frame right next to this one which will serve as a much better portait and with a one stop of more light looks better technically. But the photograph tonight is darker one stop and representing the model's personality little better I think. More to come tommorow night once I get the next roll dryied and scanned.

Speaking to a friend this evening I realized I'm not the only one not feeling the holidays so far. But then my talk went into sparking some recent thoughts. It started from Umberto Eco's write up on Communist Manifesto with selected parts. I am not an advocate of the regime proposed in the original text my Mr. Marx but I do think Mr. Eco superbly brings out the text's vitality ever so more visible through globalization. The book which i highly recommend is Umberto Eco's On Literature. Absolutely phenomenal book. I also saw him on EuroNews special this morning leading an exposition on India links to western world. In the news brief which I was only paying half attention to he states how distinctly different the entire country is. Being that lately I am reading up more on Buddhism I see the incredible diversity of just few tiny regions.

Ok, no photograph tonight because I got organized tonight and skipped the chance to get two rolls processed. but I can't wait anymore and i did it to myself that tomorrow I do nothing else then see what I got.

I’m off tomorrow which is good. I needed to break the routine. I passed of developing the film from last night due most part of the day in motion. And this evening when parking lots of malls are empty from the Christmas shoppers it was so nice to find a convenient spot right in front of Barns and Noble, read some books on Buddhism and browse the History section.
Today got me thinking of heart and technical photography. One is created with vision powerful to overcome technical inefficiencies and the other is based on critical elements focused on perfection in competition with other work. I have created both. But today in particular I am thinking how much more rewarding it is to print. Love for the process. The crucial part is finding the right negative. The secondary part but equally important is the interpretation of this negative. This is why I insist on printing my work to my limits. Of course my work might be printed by someone else in some instances but until I have to give it away I put all I have right into it.
I am not denouncing Digital. But every time I think how slow a cell phone acts in very cold weather or how quickly heat can kill battery in electronics, I resort to film cameras as being able go beyond. Heat can damage film I suppose, especially slide film, but the conditions would need to be still harsher where electronic equipment’s optimal range reaches its max. There is a snip in a supplement to PDN magazine how Medium format cameras will vanish by 2020 because of advancement in technology. I do not doubt the advancement but I disagree with the other suggestions that scanners will no longer be needed. Printed media will have a life outside of the web and for as long as negatives existed there will be going ‘back’ to get mode out of negatives turning ‘historic’. The scanners will simply be better (and hopefully cheaper because so many will shoot digital from 2010).
From 8x10 to 35mm took roughly 50 to 75 years in the beginning of photography. So we see big detailed images to tiny fraction of the original capturing the moments of history (photojournalism by means of mobility of the 35mm). But now that so many people carry a digital camera of various sizes, what’s left to photograph? Tiny cameras are everywhere. Mobility is key to volume but sadly not quality. The 35mm reduction of old 8x10 cameras transformed the speed and presence of cameras which translated directly into digital tiny portable cameras.
But going back to the original premise: Heart vs. Technical photography. The answer is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have begun to shoot 4x5 because the details are what draws me near but technical proficiency is needed to get at least one frame exposed. I don’t like people who snap and call it art. I believe talent shows over course of lifetime. I do however find myself more that instead of knowing what I want to shoot I choose to collect my thoughts with time. Humanity, body form (female), characters of people I come to meet, architecture are all elements that invoke an emotional response of me. So even if an image might be blurred it still came from the same inspiration to set up my tools.

The shoot last night went below expectations I had. The model was late, really late, but becuase I saw she sincerely was looking for more time I waited. By the time we were shooting it was dark. I ended up pushing film but did not shoot that much. I'll develop those in a little while today so I should have some images from the shoot this evening.

For now a cool but sunny day in San Francisco to which I need to visit soon as hours spent there make me miss it.

OK.. one more... I am too tired and need to get up early tommrow. But I found this image of Eva to contrast one from erlier post. Same girl but this time 'The Boy Beater'. Have lost contact with Eva.. its been a long time. I think she's off in PR somewhere now... great model and among the most interesting people I ever met. She also is the girl with the whole back tatoo in on my website.

Busy week and the weekend. Getting ready for a shoot tommorow in Philadelphia. Week just flew by with the company Christmas Party on thirsday. It made the friday drag on. Breif tonight but more tommorow.

This is a different look of Eva. Old scan of an old slide.

Still not feeling the christmas spirit yet. Somewhat late this year. Or maybe it the fact that every year the intensity of commerce has now made me numb to it? Nah, just wating for the true christmas spirit, not the one you can simply buy.

This photograph is of Katie Zack (same girl as in the color photogrpah from the previous evening's post). Hanging out over at Model Mayhem tonight.

Ok... been long enough since I posted one of my photographs from the Editorial side. In fact I will shoot more in the next few months of this sort of work given I can find models willing to stand the cold and this type of photography. I call it editorial because I don't see much of this in the mainstream and if I happen to come across a magazine that has anything close it is usually an artsy magazine. To me this sort of work is great expression of mood through the use of lighting and figure. There is just something about shooting editorial fashion which despite using the same locations repeatedly I find new interpretations of the similar light with the figure.
My gripes are usually due to my own laziness. But! I tend to expect a lot of people I shoot with because I know when it’s all done and over I can give them something that is about them. This is the problem I find with finding models. It’s rarely rally about them that they're looking for. It’s about looking like the girls on TV or magazine ads. However I have been lucky to meet few outstanding models which I have shot with multiple times and hope to work in time to come. There is a very cool atmosphere that develops between a model and photographer when the shoot is a of mutual interest. I am not talking about studio shoots for the moment but more of my own 'street/location' photography. There is a certain level I know or get to know the model over time. I trust them to trust me. That shows on a frame after frame if the connection is there. Some of my best photographs are when the model disconnects and drifts away in front of the camera. She no longer cares how she looks. She trusts the photographer because she gets a feeling for the connection. She drops her guard enough to work together freely without hesitation. Those are rare moments that I am learning over time that are the most rewarding. I just hope to find models like the few I have the pleasure to work with. But I am only 28 so hopefully I can continue to build my work running into ones that want to be photographed for whom and how they are.

The two photographs tonight are of quite contrast personalities but I know that if these two women found themselves in a room they could connect without an effort. Both absolutely great to work with.

Contemporary art is often puzzling. On a walk down 10th avenue from 27th to 23rs Street in Manhattan there are a few galleries on a way. I usually pass down midweek when attending a lecture over at Aperture on 27th street. So my views were from the window and to be honest I have yet seen anything that would make me step inside one of them. I am amazed however the lengths some of these art dealers go though. On the corner of the 23rs and 10th stands a building which consists of a gallery with the standard white walls along with a little courtyard which has a display of contemporary culture. Last time I peeked inside it was nothing more then a giant sphere made of a either marble or some other dark shiny solid material. Settled in pebbles or gravel it sits there as an object by itself. So that is art and the value of it is high because it found its way to Manhattan.
I do think that Art has gone though a transformation due to time and history. But it seems any one back 150 years ago had a clearer definition of art was. When one saw it they could admire the skill/effort that went in there. It was visually appealing in some sort. The last 40 years have changed that. Its so much easier to critique art today. It seems the art dealer does the promotion to the highest bidder. Its like the Radio DJ promoting crap and calling it today's music. All this has become so chaotic that the culture of art has turned inside out.
But there are few exceptions to the Rule. Visual art such as Photography or Architecture still remains accessible to a viewer. Visual images which remain true to things we know or can imagine on our own offer an emotional reaction. Architecture give atmosphere and achievement in was we can touch it. Light plays a significant part in both. But this element is one we just see interpreted in a new but familiar way.

The photograph is of a building going up in midtown Manhattan. The contrast of the foreground older buildings and new architecture of background give a great representation of their history.