I made a compromise today. But before I write about that I want to say I am building a book of portraits. This is a project I have written down in a little notebook sometime in March and now actually organized to the point where I have been shooting it and learning each subject requires a very unique approach. It becomes very easy to get technical with photography. Measure the light, make a decision on the shutter and aperture combination and there you go as far as correct exposure. But when there is a person in front of the camera the technical details should be no more then an instinct. The compromise I made today was with a subject I had to feud in order to sit in front of the camera. The person is my Mom. Her approach to the whole concept has been somewhat a loathing of the process. She offered to relax and be aware before our next sitting. From experience this will not be smooth. I am offering a different approach also to the ones used in the past. And that approach is in general to my potential and future models. I can get easily irritated while setting up my gear and making sure everything is in order. And when enough annoyances added up in the past I stepped back and said to myself that if they don't care neither do I. It took a lot of time to realize I distanced myself from the model this way and through too much of technical data that no one ever cares at that moment except me and no one would ever be interested at that moment. How I am making the photograph matters to me. The technical process is a lonely one and no one will respect it as the photographer does. And rightfully so! Most people will simply want to see the print in a frame to admire/investigate it for the subject matter. The process can be analog or digital but it is one of character building/reflection that emits itself in the style. And style and talent combine only to prove themselves in time.

This is a photograph of my mom from today. The light was faint from an overcast and rainy day outside. The exposure time was a grueling 1 second long. I took total of 4 sheets of film which in Large Format means 4 frames of film. First one I developed is motion blurred because Mom was wiggling around. Second one is better but when i enlarge it the motion blur shows up quite clearly. Of course the beauty of 4x5 (9x12cm) size negative is that unless I made a huge print the blurriness will be little noticeable. And finally I still have 2 more sheets I need to develop but this time they are at 1/2 second exposures so hopefully I can walk away with an expressive and sharp photograph. More shoots will follow but the mere fact I am learning a human approach to photographing people seems to be a great reward I seldom stop to appreciate. I am finding a way to better understand my subjects. If I get this right someday perhaps I can complete my book of portraits.

I like this from today for many reasons but one is that it carries a particular mood in the myst of her relections. This portrait will carry more in time but I already like it.